Congrats on your new bike!
I wish you had asked a couple days ago so we could get pics together, etc.
I was going to try to describe chocks, tie downs, tie down access points, Canyon Dancer, suspension compression, don't do it with the kickstand down and other good points and realised it is hopeless in the time we have.
So, the best way to get this bike home is this...
Take a friend with you to drive your car back. Pick up the bike, and RIDE it home! Believe me, this is the best way.